PEER REVISION




PEER REVISION 


Details of Paddocks rampage emerged, police recover the 64 year old killers cell phone looking for motive for this mass shooting. They find he has no criminal record but has bought 33 weapons since October of 2016. Most were rifles . he monitored feet traffic in the hallway of the hotel where he thought if he would reside to after the shooting. He shot at a crowd of 22,000 people, killing 58and injured. Stephen fired rounds at security guards in the hallway before shooting himself. The rest of the article seems irrelevant to me because the title is “Las Vegas Killer Stephen Paddock Was Planning To Escape After The shooting” the authors of this article goes into talking about Paddocks gun purchases and why there wasn’t a red flag at the store he purchased from. I don’t see how this relates to the topic.

Kayla starts her blog off by introducing her article, authors and source. She then goes into summarizing the article she chose. She quoted the article a few times without using quotations. She gives her thoughts on the article which I agree with but the article didn’t seem very subjective, it was more facts and information than the authors thoughts and opinions. Kayla said herself “they put a lot of information and facts on Stephen Paddock”. I’m thinking Kayla might not have understood the directions. She gives her subjective opinion instead of her chosen article having a subjective opinion. I could be wrong but other than that and a few punctuation errors, I got the gist of where Kayla was coming from and what she is saying. Overall it was a very good blog response.

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 6, 2017 at 7:03 AM

    I agree with you I should put more into this article but I will do better in my other articles.Thank you for the tips.

    ReplyDelete

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